Life Lessons
What Would I tell my 21-year-old self?
Over the years I remember saying to myself, “If I had only known then, when I was younger, what I know now, I would so much further ahead of the game.”
Looking back, these are the ten things I would tell my younger self.
Stop worrying about what you cannot control. This includes other people’s opinion of you, and other people’s actions. No one can define you or control you except yourself. So, look in the mirror and tell your body and mind how grateful you are for them both and how essential it is that they work together.
Drama, if you let it, will follow you from high school right into adulthood. Do any of you have any friends who seem to be wrapped in layer after layer of drama, and it is never their fault? My favorite excuse is “My childhood was awful.” Or better yet, “So and so did this to me.” My first question? How long are you going to carry the past with you into the future?” We have all had trauma, drama, abuse, bullying, and even death on many levels. It still does not define you.
Blood is less valuable than connection. To me, being a blood relative is not enough for me to want to spend time and energy on the relationship. My time is spent with those who empower me, love me, accept me and most of all, make me a better person. My gauge? How do I feel when I am around them? How do I feel when I leave their presence? Am I drained or am I energized like the pink bunny on those commercials? Stay away from negative Debbie downers. If a person is less than desirable, dump him/her.
Birds of a feather, flock together. You will become who you hang around. Say what? Yes. It is true. If you hang out with ducks and quack all day long, that is what you will become. If you hang with the eagles, you will soar high above the ducks and inspire others to reach for more and know that there are no limits. It takes courage to fly high, explore, and grow.
Make your health a top priority in your lifetime. As a nation, we spend more on our dying citizens for their medical care than we do on prevention our entire lives. It is a sad day when we cannot be grateful for the body which has the power to make us sick or make us well. It is about a mind-body connection and allowing the autonomic nervous system in the body to work at the optimum through diet, exercise, sleep, and mediation.
Friends will come and go. In my opinion, coming out of high school and entering adulthood is the most difficult transition of life. It is from age 12 to 18 while completing our secondary education that we learn so much of our lessons on friendship. Around puberty, we start turning to our friends for advice since our parents are no longer smart enough. Who needs the internet when you have teens who know everything? They are a poor resource. And yet we ask for and yearn for their wisdom and approval.
It is our fate to become better versions of ourselves. As hard as it is to wrap our arms around this one, we are here on earth to become enhanced editions of ourselves. There is a famous book out there about breaking the habit of being yourself. I highly recommend you making a list of what you love about yourself and then a list of what you do not. Then spend more time on what you love and less on those parts you do not adore so much. Use safe words with loved ones and ask for help to identify when you are being obstinate or less than fun to hang with.
When you give to others, it will come back to you tenfold. This is a tough one. Money issues abound with so many souls on earth. Some of us want to hoard our possessions in that slight chance we might need it someday. Clean out your closets and drawers and give away anything you have not worn in years, does not fit, or you do not love or need. Give away the eight pairs of crutches you have in the garage, or the old camping equipment you have not used since the kids arrived. Donate your old car or buy lemonade from the six-year-old in your neighborhood. Every act adds up and every gift is rewarded. Be that person that gives.
Invest in yourself. Keep learning till you perish. Never stop learning. New pathways in the brain are developed when we learn new information. With the internet today, there are no excuses. I love Gaia, YouTube, Netflix documentaries and most of all books.
We all have a higher calling, and it is our job to figure it out. Some of you have asked the ultimate question of why you are here on earth. Most of us wander through life doing the same things day after day or thinking the same thoughts. If you are asking for your higher purpose, ask for guidance from the universe. It may come in the form of a mentor, a teacher, a sign, an event, a book, a random meeting, or any number of ways. Ask. Be open. Be Aware. Trust.
